Taco Stains
by Fair Lady of S
Summary: An odd IZ fic. Inspired by MissEgypt111, for she is immensely cool. Involves giraffes, tacos, ham sandwiches and angered wolves
1. "That Rumsfield guy is yummy..."--Lauri...

Disclosers:(Is that a word? Bleh)  
I don't own Zim, Keef, Gir or any of the Zim related things.  
They are Jhonen Vasquez's. He knows much.  
  
  
  
Muchos Gracias to MissEgypt111!!!   
She be like my favorite author and made me think about   
even writing this filth!  
So....read it.  
  
For de childwen?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A large, and coincedentaly disturbing giraffe waddled painfully about the skool yard.  
With a constipated look of desparation, it's massive head swung around, peering at the children,  
before the beast was felled by the hordes of the horrific beasts known as teenyboppers.  
  
Zim looked on in disgust.  
Another filthy day had ended.  
  
z   
  
  
Gir, the pathetically odd bit of scrap metal he was, pummeled his head with a   
thunderous force against the hard cement of the path leading to Zim's abode.  
  
It didn't yield.  
  
Shrieking with despair, the small robot scaled the walls seperating Zim from his filthy  
earth neighbors. He entered one of the homes and giggled, staring upon its inhabitant.  
  
The woman, seemingly a morbid cross between a ham sandwich and a purple magic marker,  
looked on with woe.  
  
Gir latched on to her watermelon-sized head and refused to let go.  
  
z   
  
Zim trudged the blissfully horrendus stretch between his base and the skool, occasionally  
pausing to pelt a stupid human with a hefty rock. This brought the green child joy  
and he laughed heartily at their expense. He approached his home and darted in quickly,  
ignoring the robotic sire's customary cry of "WELCOME HOME, SON!"   
  
Inside it was deathly quiet. Zim painstakingly removed his disguise and set the wig and contacts  
on a strategically placed endtable. He peered around, unsure what to feel.  
  
"Gir?" he questioned the still air. There was no answer.  
  
  
  
  
z   
  
  
Across the street, a large feral wolf loped gleefully about, herding a mob of skool children,  
leaping upon the stragglers and promptly amputating their index fingers.  
  
One of the 9-fingered children was Keef, and the small boy recognized Zim's  
house from previous escapades. He wriggled from the burly canine's fangs  
and pounded on the MENS' room door. There was no answer.  
  
The child looked around for the little robot-dog, Gir.  
The only evidence of his presence was a dent in the sidewalk and a large  
stain, the kind of stain that usually accompanies tacos.  
  
Keef shrugged half-heartedly and trotted back to the lupine dictator,  
where he was presently devoured. 


	2. "Don't taste your sister...it's wrong"--...

Disclosures:(Now that's how ya spell it...I think...but who cares):  
Zim, Gir, Gaz, Dib and the like are Vasquez's. DO NOT QUESTION IT! ...althought Mr. Wolf  
and Ms. Sandwich-Marker are mine.  
  
Thanks: MissEgypt111, for making my brain work,  
Reviwers: FOR BEING SO DARN COOL!  
  
  
  
  
  
Huge, menacing clouds crisscrossed the sky.  
  
Gaz peered out the window and smirked, full of mirth.  
Perhaps some loser would be struck by lightning and burned to a crispy crisp.  
Mmmm. The little demon-girl nodded and solemnly tapped at her Game Slave.  
  
Her moronic brother was in Professor Membrane's lab, ranting about the exsistence  
of aliens...once again. Gaz detected Dib's screaming, though it sounded curiously   
like it was being muffled with a large piece of toast.  
  
Gaz smiled again.   
  
This was a good day.  
  
  
z   
  
  
  
Zim, meanwhile, glared outside at the steady shower, grumbling  
inaudibly about "human atmospheres".  
  
O, such a horrific thing Earth was. The wolf and skool-beasts  
had paused and joined together in a circle, chanting the  
traditional "We Love Rain" song in their high, wicked voices.  
  
Zim grimanced and backed away from the horrible sight, eyes wide  
with his fear.  
  
"These humans...they are EVIL!..." He whispered to the house, devoid  
of anyone but the Irken. "Eeeeeeeevvvvvvvvviiiiiiiilllll...." He hissed,  
falling to the floor and writhing.  
  
  
z  
  
  
"Eat tha pie! EAT THA PIE!" Gir squealed, delighted, as he crammed  
the baked good into the horrible sandwich-woman's monstrous mouth.  
  
She wailed, a shrill, earspiltting noise...like a bat hunting mercilessly for  
it's prey. Humans, dogs, and small farm animals all fell in unison around  
the horrible house of Screaming.  
  
They fell so hard.  
  
  
z  
  
In Transylvania, cantalopes swelled to the size of unruly gorrillas  
and pillaged a small villige. 


End file.
